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A Special Mother’s Day Post
From left to right: my dad, my mom, and me.
On the second Sunday of every May, many of us take time to celebrate and honor one of the most important people in our lives, our moms. Mother’s Day is a national holiday established officially back in 1914 under President Woodrow Wilson to recognize the sacrifices mothers make for their children day in and day out. The origins of this special day are attributed to the efforts of Anna Jarvis who strove to create a heartfelt and compassionate holiday rejoicing in her mother, Ann Jarvis, who was responsible for organizing women’s movements during the Civil War. While much can be said about the history of Mother’s Day, I’d like to focus today’s post on how moms transform a house into a home and leave you with some personal tidbits on why my mother is special too.
The words I’d hear when my mom was going to yell at me.
The words that still make me twinge with fear and apprehension to this day – my mom would yell these words for me to present myself to get a proper face-to-face scolding for major transgressions that usually had to do with household chores not getting done. But moms aren’t just taskmasters making sure the dishes are washed, and the trash is taken out. They are often the beating heart of the home in the most positive sense.
The Heart of the Home
What makes a house homy? The wall color, the balance of natural light and warm tones, the strong smells of your favorite cooked meal wafting in from the kitchen – these things certainly all contribute. But the number one factor for a homy house are the people we associate with the space, and for many of us, that’s our mom.
Mothers bring intangible qualities to a home that make us want to be there. Qualities like love, comfort, routine, safety, and empathy. These may manifest themselves as family pictures on the mantle, a quilt on the armchair she made for you when you were 7, or my personal favorite, tchotchkes of unknown origin that she swears didn’t come from your great grandmother’s house.
My favorite tchotchke: an Uncle Sam coin bank.
Other times these intangible qualities are best experienced through a mother’s actions. When we are kids, this might look like a time when our mom cleaned and bandaged a wound from falling off our bike or helped us process some emotions after a fight we had at school. And when we come back to visit as adults, moms are stocking the fridge with your favorite beer before you arrive and making a freshly sheeted bed up for you to sleep comfortably. For example, my mom loves to host family events for my 4 brothers and me around the holidays. She decorates the house, grocery shops to get everyone their favorite snacks and drinks, plans out appetizers and meals, and sometimes makes us all dress in matching PJs so she can get that sentimental photo:
Malinowski family picture in matching PJs at mom’s insistence.
Moms are at the center of creating the homy, welcoming environment, with a little bit of feminine touch, that we all brave the crazy holiday travel to come back for.
The Role of Mothers in Home Dynamics
What’s the most important room in a home that brings the family together? For us it’s always been the kitchen. Raising 5 boys while working a fulltime job, my mom had her hands full. The kitchen island was the tactical command center for our day-to-day operations, and she was the commander-in-chief. Orders would be given to mow the grass or grab the load of laundry that had been sitting in the dryer for 3 days now. News would be shared about my brother’s report card grades he was hiding or what the neighbor kid had said to upset the delicately balanced local street politics. Strategizing occurred on improving college application essays and what to have for dinner the next week. And fights were arbitrated between brothers when the PlayStation 2 memory card was “accidentally” wiped of all saved files.
The kitchen, and more specifically, when mom was in the kitchen, was the center of our home dynamics. That meant the space had to be kept relatively clean, dishes put away, food not left out, and scented candles burning on the countertop. But for other families, the living room or dining room might be the more significant room where the mother fosters family bonds through game nights, watching favorite shows, or eating dinner. Regardless of which room is the center of activity for your family, there’s no doubt that your mom plays a key role in influencing home dynamics. As most husbands know, “happy wife, happy life” or in this case, “happy mother, happy family”.
Design & Decor with a Mother’s Touch
Did your mom like dragging you to Pier 1 Imports or Crate & Barrel as a kid, spending hours walking around looking at furniture and decorations only to leave the stores empty handed? Well, if she did, she probably was window shopping to get ideas on how to maximize the potential of your home to best meet the needs of your family with these thoughts in mind:
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Functional Layout:
open spaces with ease of movement allow for families to better interact with each other and promote feng shui, or the practice of arranging objects and furniture in a room to create harmony between individuals and their environment.
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Smart Storage Solutions:
optimize storage with drawer organizers, pull-out cabinet racks, and multi-purpose furniture, such as a bench with built-in storage space underneath, to reduce clutter and keep the home organized.
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Child-Friendly Features:
make a house kid-proof with plastic covers to keep wandering hands from sticking things in the outlets, removable gates to cordon of rooms, tables with rounded edges and corners, furniture built with durable and easy-to-clean materials and fabrics like microfiber, leather, and vinyl. And don’t be afraid to use Scotchgard for couches and chairs you don’t want stained.
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Personal Touches:
improve the atmosphere and sense of ownership and pride by adding artwork, family photos, hand-made crafts, and tchotchkes.
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Natural Elements:
use house plants and window treatments that can let in ample natural light during the day to bring vitality and freshness into the home.
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Color Palette:
design with neutral colors such as beiges, taupes, and off-whites to create warm and inviting spaces. Add deeper browns, greens, and navy to bring a cozier, more earthen feel.
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Outdoor Spaces:
encourage family time outdoors by building a communal space in the backyard around a firepit, patio, or deck. Add a seating space with an umbrella to protect from the sun. Use raised planters to bring a little garden close to the family activities.
Moms know how to make a house a home using the above. Whether that’s a family motto or words of encouragement stenciled on the wall or the African drums that no one is allowed to touch paying homage to ancestral beginnings. They personalize spaces to reflect family values and traditions.
Personal Reflection: My Mom
As previously mentioned, my mom loves to host family gatherings. And the one time of year that always stands out for me is Christmas. It’s not because of the gift giving or receiving, or the spiked eggnog (although close second). Christmas stands out for me because it’s when my mom always seems to be the happiest, and this is reflected in the home she keeps. Multiple decorated trees, nutcrackers along the stairs, food galore everywhere you turn. Her love and attention to detail around the house are what ushers in the holiday spirit for the rest of us and make it uniquely ours.
When she was younger, my mom was into ceramics and painting. Her favorite creations happen to be a set of 4 Santas she hand-painted when I was a kid. They make an appearance every year at her house during the holidays – I can’t remember a Christmas without seeing them.
Mom’s favorite tchotchke: her hand-painted Santas.
In her maturing years, she’ll go on about the importance of family time, how she can count on 2 hands the number of occasions we might all be under the same roof again, and how it pains her that the brothers don’t call every week to check in on each other. While that might seem a bit morose and cheesy, I can appreciate where she’s coming from. I’m blessed with a supportive and amazing family. My mom is at the center of that and a huge part of why we’re all as successful as we are today. She’s special for:
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her strength having raised 5 kids with my dad while working fulltime
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her determination in fighting for what she wants in her career and for never giving up on her kids, even when life threw us curveballs
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her compassion to love us each of us for exactly who we are, always being our best supporter and cheerleader in life
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her creativity and resourcefulness in making sure we had a home, not just a house
My special mom.
Here’s to you Mom! Thank you for all that you’ve done for me and my brothers. We love you so much and are grateful for all the sacrifices you’ve made along the way to help us get to where we are today.
Wrap-Up
I hope you all take time today to honor your mothers or that special woman in your life that provides support and makes your house a home. Remember to celebrate her not just today, but every day for the sacrifices she makes for you, your children, your family. Moms are the heart of the home, from orchestrating the day-to-day activities, cooking, and cleaning, to making sure your house meets the needs of your family with her own unique touches.
I encourage you to share your own thoughts and stories about your mom this Mother’s Day, how she makes your house a home, and what room you think is the most important in the house. What’s your mom’s favorite tchotchke? And most importantly, let her know that you love and appreciate her.
